I started writing this damn thing on Goodreads, and it was deleted before I even got the damn thing finished. So here I shall begin again. Ugh. I was almost done, too.
I waited for-effing-ever for this book to finish out the series, and this book sucked. I want my 3 days back. This book was so rushed I can't believe it was approved. It was made up of short, choppy sentences that made the story flow like broken glass. There was a serious lack of contractions in dialogue/thoughts, so everything had a stuffy, pretentious feel that I couldn't relate to at all. And there were some parts where the writing made so little sense I had to re-read the paragraph over and over to figure out if I was missing something. I wrote better than this when I was 15.
Zara is a pain in the ass, self-absorbed bitch that tries to make you feel for her, since she's sooper speshul and has to save the fucking world. How can I relate to a person that got 2 people killed to save her asshole boyfriend? (See Entice, where her father and Mrs. Nix the werebear die for no other reason than to help her find her boyfriend.) She is always leading on Nick and Astley, whining about how bad her life is and putting herself in dangerous situations for no reason. How she has 2 men fawning over her like that is a mystery,
Nick is a racist bigot that loved Zara until she turned pixie to save his sorry ass. Then he called her soulless and wouldn't even touch her. But she becomes human again and he's all "oh, you're hot again". Fuck you, asshat.
Issie is so damn stupid I can't believe she lived to adulthood. She makes pop references and says "cool teen things" like "awesome sauce", I guess, to make us think the author is hip. But all it does it make me mad, since nobody talks like that! She is just a giant chucklehead! How did she live to the end?!
Devyn is our complimentary glasses-wearing, supoer-smart Clark Kent type. Every YA book needs one, right? FML
Astley was the only redeeming character in this POS. He was what a male character should be: protective, charming, respectful and loving. Never a rude, mean thing comes out of his mouth.
Now, here's something fun: Zara's grandma's name is Betty White.
Um....no..... I keep picturing Rose Nylund telling St. Olaf stories.
The plot was ridiculous bullshit that made no sense half the time. Giants show up and battle it out without reason or warning, the world-building is so weak I can't picture half the scenery, and the only thing we are ever really clear on is Zara is like Jesus Christ and will save us all. I wanted to barf.
We got a bunch of predictable "plot twists", like Astley turning bad, which you could see right through like a glass of water. And Astley's own people turning on him, again like we didn't see that coming. Nothing made any sense, and it was such a rushed, jumbled mess I had a hard time keeping characters straight.
They convince the whole town to fight the evil pixies in a battle royale at the end. Really. No joke. The whole town in Maine picks up swords and shit and fights blue people with shark teeth. This is not only the most outlandish ending but like something out of an episode of Power Rangers where the whole town sides with the Red Ranger and tells the evil lord that they aren't afraid of them. I seriously couldn't believe this was what I was reading.
And we get Loki there at the end, since no absurd, redonkulous story is complete without making us think of the Avengers.
How this series went from evil pixies terrorizing a Maine town to evil pixies, Norse gods, Valkyries and Hel is beyond me. I cannot stress enough how very little sense this shit made! They gave us an HEA with everyone sitting around a few months later, acting all happy and whatnot. We're never told how all this WW3 shit is explained to the media, just like we never do hear how Issie's mom let her daughter go to Iceland even though she doesn't even let her go to the damn library after dark. It was cliche to the max, everyone so happy and "oh, half the town died but we're cool." So many holes. So much fucking ridiculous asshat-ness. I just.....I just.....
I want my weekend back.
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