1337 Initiates
51 The Order

Mallory Kellogg, Chubbygirlreads

Author of the Gods of Myth series. 
"The only important thing in a book is the meaning that it has for you."

Korg for the win (plus Get Help)

I have a cold and I've had a migraine all week. So here are some of my favorite Korg moments to cheer us all up.






"Your hammer pulled you off? That's disgusting."




Me and my husband either quote Korg or this next scene. It's really a gem. Anyway, have fun.




Good night everyone!!!!



Reading progress update: I've read 5 out of 24 pages.

Saban's Go Go Power Rangers #5 - Ryan Parrott, Dan Mora

When you are reading this are see Billy's dad is.... Billy.







Spring Fling Book Swap - OPEN



The Spring Fling Book Swap is open! 

Spring is a time of love and colors and renewal and all kinds of cool things. So this swap should be about bright, romance, fun, silly. Make-overs and insta-love and tea on the veranda. (Okay, I'm a Southern girl, so cut me some slack. I almost said Mint Juleps.) 

Here are the must haves:
1. Books, duh. In good condition. Used is fine. Some of us even love those beat-up, well worn hardbound old type books. So you're pretty free here.

2. Something whimsical. A scarf with a pretty print. A picture of a unicorn. A cabochon or a cool bracelet. Have fun with this.

3. Something bright. Pretty self explanatory. Can be anything, just keep your partner's taste in mind.

4. A fun spring snack. I totally love Milano cookies.

5. A surprise. Whatever you want to give your partner. A total off-the-cuff gift you think they may like, but try to keep with the theme. 

And the fine print:

Budget is $20.Deadline for signing up ends March 25th. That's 10 days! Deadline for mailing is April 10th. If you have any questions, I'm totally here for you guys. If you need an extension, as always, just ask. As always, this is anonymous. No spoilers. No peeking. 


Once you ship your box, please remember to message or email me with your tracking number. Now go have fun, my little spring fairies!



Rumors - Anna Godbersen




Reading progress update: I've read 156 out of 384 pages.

Garden of Shadows (Dollanganger Series) - V.C. Andrews

Malcolm Foxworth is probably the worst human being I have ever read, and Olivia is just enabling him. "Oh, you want to rape your stepmom? Yes, it bothers me, but I dislike her because she's beautiful and had a beautiful child and I am a horrid woman, too." The only good people in this book are either dying off or are about to be shafted. Makes me wonder wtf goes on in Andrews's head.

Reading progress update: I've read 100 out of 384 pages.

Garden of Shadows (Dollanganger Series) - V.C. Andrews

A woman can only truly blossom when she has a man's love?



A woman's duty is to be a good wife, a good home maker, and a good breeder?



Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.

Went to the Breast Cancer Center today. Had a diagnostic mammogram and an ultrasound. My left boob is sore now, but the doctor said I can calm down. The lump is not dangerous. It's most likely a cyst, since it's tender, or a fibrous knot. I almost wept.


Also, to the asshole who thought it a good idea to turn on Amazing Grace (bagpipe edition) on your cellphone inside the Breast Cancer Center, where we women are already upset and at our wits end, fuck you. I want to cunt punt you. You not only picked a funeral durge, but the saddest version of it.


But I digress. I don't have cancer!!!



Pray The Gay Away (what a waste)

Pray The Gay Away - Sara York

Stories like this have the opportunity to be a positive thing. Being young and gay in very backward, bigoted areas, facing adversity. Growing stronger. These stories could help youth struggling with all these problems.


But this one failed on many levels. The basics are this: the writing was poor, it was riddled with grammatical errors, and the author clearly owned no thesaurus. She used the word "sexy" like E.L. James uses "oh my". The dialogue was unrealistic, especially among teens. I dont know many guys that sit around telling their lovers how "hard" they are. Events would happen without essential details, where someone would be in one place then suddenly be in another with no idea how they got there. From outside to the dinner table, or from the truck to the inside of the school. The author also said the same word in the same sentence to describe something: "the shadows of the trees cast his face in shadows".


Now the characters weren't all that bad. The instalove I could handle. It isn't any different than a Disney movie. But the prologue listed all the family members and their roles. Amanda was said to be a trouble maker, yet she didn't even say anything the entire book. The Miller family had 10 kids yet it didn't seem like any of them did much of anything. Really unrealistic. And Mr. Nathaniel Miller is a royal asshole bigot from Hell. He's the pastor. And his oldest son Jack is....gay and in love.


And that brings me to the ending and why I gave this such a crap rating: there is such casual physical and verbal abuse. Child abuse. And semi-aggressive sexual assualt. Mr. Miller tells his 18-year-old son that is he doesn't "ungay" himself and his baby brother, he will beat the shit out of the baby brother until he pretty much dies. So his oldest son agrees to stay home and play straight and deal with his physical abuse instead of calling the CPS investigator he happens to know due to other events. It is such a shitty ending. A slap in the face. All the shit that happened and his asshole father beat him into submission in a roundabout way.


That just topped off the awful cake. Too much abuse and parenting failures.


Reading progress update: I've read 69%.

Pray The Gay Away - Sara York

Casual sexual assualt. Nobody thinks this is a big deal just because there aren't many gay guys in town so..... gays stick together, even if one of them is too aggressive with another? Um, no.

Reading progress update: I've read 35%.

Pray The Gay Away - Sara York

While I think this story is cute and all, the writing is very juvenile. Events take place with few details, sometimes skipping details. Someone is outside but suddenly they are now sitting at the dinner table. 


Plus, okay, there's a family of 10 kids and 2 adults plus a guest all eating dinner. At a table. In a house. But not at the dining room table? I have never seen a breakfast book that big? Wtf.

Reading progress update: I've read 23%.

Pray The Gay Away - Sara York


Omg...Jack and Andrew. So cute.

Harry Potter and the time an AI wrote a chapter


Computers are gold. I never cared for the HP series but if this insane AI wrote an entire book I would read it. I'm going to rename all my passwords BEEF WOMEN.

March Madness TBR

Garden of Shadows (Dollanganger Series) - V.C. Andrews Pray The Gay Away - Sara York Rumors - Anna Godbersen Envy - Anna Godbersen Splendor - Anna Godbersen And I Darken - Kiersten White

March is dedicated to deceit, crazy, and darkness. A bit of bigotry and meanness. I want to finish the Luxe series, knock another Dollinganger book off the list and then read a couple of books I have had forever. 


Also, I have a pain injection in my hip on Monday. Tuesday is my mammogram. On the 19th I meet with an on base surgeon to go over the images. Things are moving forward quickly. Who knew boobs could be fucking time bombs?



As some of you know, I have been having some very strange symptoms lately. I may even seem like a hypochodriac, but I assure you I am not faking this. Since mid January I have been experiencing weird low fevers of around 99.7. Then I got the flu, so I assumed it would go away. No, once the flu cleared my system, the fevers only abated for about 3 days then came right back. Also with them come aches, fatigue and sleepiness. But nothing else. I finally made an appointment with my primary doctor and started logging my temps on a calender. Two weeks ago I accidentally bumped into my husband, and let me mention I have DD boobs. They get in the way. Well, I hurt. Like whoa. That's when I realized there was a knot in the fleshy part of my left one, sore and the size of the tip of my pinkie. My husband confirmed just to make sure I wasn't crazy. 


Today I saw my doctor. I was dismayed to have him disregard my worries over my body's sudden urge to cook from the inside. According to him, until it gets over 100, it's not really a fever. Well, then why do I feel like shit? But he was worried about the lump. He examined me (aren't breast exams wonderful, ladies? *sarcasm*) and agreed there is a lump, and it made me wince when touched.


Long story short, I have a mystery lump, I feel like shit all the time and now I'm having a mammogram...again. I'm only 33 and this will be my second, only this one will be a diagnostic instead of a preventative. I'm hoping it's a blocked duct or some thing. Not The Big C. I just want to feel like myself again.


And stop living Murphy's Law.

Reading progress update: I've read 91 out of 152 pages.

G.I. Joe Volume 2: Threat Matrix - Fred Van Lente, Steve Kurth, Jamal Igle

I hate being dropped into a series after an event arc. Somebody killed Snake Eyes before this 3 part series?! HOW?! How do you kill the unkillable?

Friends of the Metro Library Book Sale

Last night was the members only pre-sale event at the fair grounds where hundreds upon hundreds of book hungry souls and resellers descend upon the Expo Center for the chance to get the cream of the crop before Saturday and Sunday when the general admission folks roll in. And for the first time since 2015 I was able to make it. Plus I roped hubby into coming along. He said he was excited to see my so excited. It was so cold and rainy. The rain seemed to keep a lot of folks home which meant we didn't have to stand outside as long as usual to get in. And I skipped the main arena for the smaller Collector Choice section where they keep the good stuff. 


Here's how I made out for $30.



The Goosebumps are for Jake. I'm trying desperately to get him away from Captain Underpants and constant shit jokes. I've also introduced him to the Guardians of Ga'hoole series so I bought some of those.


After we left there we ate at Denny's for our cheat meal of the week. I'm a simple girl. It does not take a lot to please me. They had peanut butter cream pancakes to die for. 


And there's the Half Price Books in the same shopping center so I decided to top off the night with more books. 



Not a bad haul. So we picked up Jake from his grandparents, I ate ice cream on the ride home and we called it a night! My husband said he expected me to go home and roll in my new books. Hahahaha.


I can't wait for next year's sale already.