Mallory Kellogg, Chubbygirlreads

First off, here's some background on me. I am a Christian. I believe in God. But am I a self-righteous nut? No. I believe in gay rights, my right to own guns and my right to freedom of speech. I am bi-sexual and in no way think that means I'm going to Hell. I believe in a loving God that wants us to rest in him and ease our worries. So, now you know from what viewpoint I'm coming from.A Quick Rundown of the Westboro Baptist Church:Before I begin this review, I would like to start by giving you a little background on the WBC. The Westboro Baptist Church is not, in fact, a church at all. It is actually a conglomeration of lawyers. That's right, LAWYERS. Sue-happy, ambulance-chasing lawyers. (Now, I have a few lawyer friends, so I mean no disrespect. There are many good attorneys out there. These people at WBC are NOT some of those.) They do not go out and do what they do to preach the word of God. They do it to anger the public and make you violate their civil rights. So they CAN SUE YOU. That's how they function. They piss you off, you react, they sue and make shit-tons of money. The People Behind The WBC:Pastor Fred Phelps, Sr: Was a stellar academic decades ago, wanted to go to Westpoint. He wanted to be in the military until he spent a weekend there before enrollment. He came home with a huge hatred of homosexuals and the military. He quickly changed his career to theology, became a "pastor", and founded the WBC in the 1950s. Now, here is my personal opinion: his vitriolic hatred of gays and soldiers leads me to think maybe he messed around while at Westpoint and suffers from a serious case of "buyers remorse". Again, just my opinion. But generally, the most outspoken anti-gay people tend to be in the closet about their own feelings. Or they are so confused by their feelings that they lash out. Phelps, Sr. is my shining beacon to that testament.Shirley Phelps-Roper: The cult leader extraordinaire. Shirley seems to be a typical cult guru. She controls every aspect of the church, from the picket schedules to reprimands for what she deems “unbecoming behavior”. She even has “intuitions” about a person's transgressions. She will say that she has a bad feeling about a certain person, that a specific person is evil and doesn't belong, and then the whole compound turns on the person. With NO evidence of wrong-doing other than Shirley's “feeling”. The whole church will begin reporting sins they witnessed, again, with no evidence. This gives her a massive, Godly amount of power. Lauren even admits she felt Shirley was Godly and felt blessed to be in the same room with her. She comes across and sweet and innocent, loving and kind. When she reprimands you, generally you feel she is doing it out of love. Little do you know it's just another tactic of mind-control. Stockholm Syndrome, people. She is also the pinnacle of a hypocrite, having had a child out of wedlock when she was younger. Her excuse: she was under a lot of stress, and in a moment of weakness, became pregnant. But she asked forgiveness and has been forgiven. But if anyone else even looks at a member of the opposite sex without already being married to that person, they're "whores" and "going to Hell", as Lauren found out first hand more than once. There are dozens of other Phelps, but none of them hold the power those 2 hold. Now that we have a basis for referral, let's get on with the review.The Review of Banished:I have always been fascinated by the general hatred this one "church" has. But I am an intelligent, well-educated woman, and I know their true motives. So I pay them no mind. Their views are horribly twisted to fit whatever agenda they have at the time, as documented by Lauren. Their rules change on a whim to best serve them. I ignore them because, by ignoring them, I deprive them of what they want most: attention. No attention = no WBC.Now, Lauren Drain is a sad case of what happens when a set of parents become blinded by hero worship. Her father is a violent, cold man that only loves his oldest daughter (Lauren) when she is doing something pleasing. That goes against every parental fiber of my being. Her mother is a passive, sad excuse for a woman that let her husband beat and belittle her daughter, allow her to be called a "whore" for simply talking to a boy at school. What her father calls corporal punishment I call abuse. There's a difference in spanking and beating the shit out of your daughter, kicking her in the gut and spitting on her.Her father is the kind of man that spends his whole life looking for a greater meaning to things. He's easily blinded by false prophets, as Lauren talks about early on, so it's no wonder he got suckered by the Phelps. He is a selfish bastard that sells his daughter's signed Babe Ruth card to fund his own desire to move to Kansas and join the WBC. His wife, being the spineless woman she is, allows it all to happen. He often calls Lauren "the evil daughter", although I never could figure out why. Every teen is rebellious, but she kept a perfect GPA and was athletic. I never saw her as anything near evil.She spends her whole life at the WBC being indoctrinated by their cult behavior. She is not allowed to socialize with anyone outside of the church, she is not allowed to date, wear makeup or dress too "provocatively". No hair cutting, no questioning of the WBC's rules. Just do as you're told, picket like crazy and shut the fuck up. She spends 7 years there, suffering from a serious, but undiagnosed, case of anxiety. She has it drilled in to her head that only the members of the WBC are going to Heaven and everyone is doomed to Hell. So they go out and picket to "spread the word".Therein lies my biggest issue. If we're all going to Hell, why even bother preaching to us? Why? Because they don't even believe their own shit. They just like getting attention, even in a negative way. They will even admit they love the spotlight. It makes me sick. If you're truly Godly, you're humble and loving. Not spewing your fake religion to the masses. Cult, people. Cult.Now, I truly believe the younger members are true in their beliefs, having grown up in that lifestyle. But the adults, nope. I am firm when I say they are all full of bullshit. They just want you to violate their rights so they can make themselves into martyrs while loading up on cash. So it is the younger generations I truly feel the worst for. They are being led down a terribly judgmental, anti-God path by the very people that should be protecting them: their parents.Lauren bought it wholeheartedly in an attempt to earn her father's love and finally fit in. But even with her brainwashing, she still felt uneasy about a lot of things. She just allowed herself to become detached from those she was hurting with her vicious words. She was fed the belief there was no saving anyone but those in her "church".Things The WBC Preaches:-9/11 was God punishing America for being a nation of "fag enablers"-the Amish kids that were killed in their one-room schoolhouse deserved to die because the Amish is self-righteous-AIDS is God punishing homosexuals for their horrible sins-going to Heaven is predestined and nothing will change it. Only a chosen few are going there, and the Phelps are that chosen few. *gag*-the U.S. military is full of sodomites and fagsI could go on, but my blood pressure can't handle it.Like a typical cult leader, Shirley must find someone to bully to allow herself to assert her authority. So she picks Lauren, after running down a list of others. Since Lauren is an outsider, it makes it easier to push her around and turn the others on her. The hypocrisy is evident from the beginning, where Shirley's own daughter insights risque clothing and Lauren is blamed as a bad influence. Because, *laugh snort* Shirley's Godly little girls can do no wrong. Therefore it must be someone else behind it. By the end, Lauren is once again "the evil child", her father (of all people) has her banished and the church dumps her like she didn't just dedicate her life to them. She is left with no way to function in the real world. She'd never had to pay her own bills, or get her own cell phone or make her own schedule. Being thrown out of her rigid cult routine almost crippled her. She begged to be taken back for weeks. It's sad. I felt bad for her because I understand a child's urge to earn their parents' love. But eventually you have to conclude sometimes it just won't happen. Lauren finally got it, too. I was happy to read that she is actually deprogrammed now and learning how flawed her 7 years in Kansas were. I just wish her parents could have seen how remarkable she was. She even apologized to all the families of fallen soldiers that she ever picketed funerals for. All in all, this was a frustrating but fascinating read. You can't read it and not get angry. But at the same time, you are pulling for this poor girl to escape. I think her being banished was the best thing that could have ever happened to her. I've read about a couple of other people leaving the WBC, but this was the most in-depth and heartfelt apology. I read about Libby Phelps crying and begging forgiveness to all those she'd hurt, but she sure wasn't nice to Lauren. So I hope that girl learned her lesson. I hope they all do someday. "Judge not, lest ye be judged." Phelps family, you really need to learn that line. You go, boy!