This book counted as my challenge book of short stories.
I'm not fat, I'm big boned.
I'm not fat, I'm a bigger breed.
I'm not fat, it's just more hair
I'm not fat, it's just more muscle
I'm not fat, it's only winter weight
I'm not fat, it's only a trick of the eye
I'm not the reason you threw out your back
But the next time you lift me,
do so with your knees.
I kneed your chest with my sharp claws
To show you my affection
I bite your arm and don't let go
To show you adoration
I walk across your throat at night
Because I want to say "Hello!"
I leap from high upon your crotch
Because I miss you so
I trip you when you walk down the stairs
So you know I'm always near
I sit on your face and block all your air
So my absence you need not fear
I show my love in so many ways
My devotion runneth over
So I don't know why when I approach
You duck and run for cover
Kneel Before Me
In ancient Egypt
We cats were Gods
We ruled the heavens
We reigned on earth
So kneel before me
I said come to me
Uh, listen to me
How about just a treat then?
Okay, maybe a toy
Some crumpled paper would do
I'm not picky
Well, can you at least scratch
behind my ear?
Can you at least do that?
You serve your master well